Just Like Me

When you were growing up did your parents ever say to you, "When you grow up and have your own children, I hope they are just like you!" Well my parents did. At least my mother did. I guess she must have rubbed the right lamp and met the right genie because her wish came true. This is confirmed every time I call her to ask what I should do about some situation or another related to my daughters and her first response is to fall over laughing. This isn't the sort of laughter one would expect to hear after explaining a humorous story, this laughter is much more maniacal, a pinch of evil and a tablespoon of "I told you so."


My eldest daughter recently turned three. She is absolutely just like I was at her age multiplied by one-hundred. I have always been a smart ass but my daughter has been able to out smart ass me since before the age of two. I discovered this talent in her when I was telling her not to do something one day. I think it had to do with not touching the stove or something else equally as dangerous. The whole time I was explaining to her why she should never do what ever the thing was she was looking at me with her giant brown eyes and nodding her head as if she was in total agreement with what I was saying. I was feeling pretty good about the lecture and felt that she really understood the importance of the matter. I asked her if she understood what I had just said. "Yes, Mom," she said. "Are you sure?", I asked. "Yes, Mom," she said. "What did I just say?", I asked. Still looking at me with her understanding giant brown eyes she said, "Do dee do, der dee do, dee do!" From that moment on, I knew I was in trouble.

It's hard to get mad at your child for doing things that they shouldn't do when you can relate to why they are doing them. For example;   

I get it! Drawing on the walls is soooo much fun! Ask my Hazel Park housemates from 2003-2006. I painted a mural of the Detroit skyline on our family room wall for almost the entire time we lived there. It evolved over time and turned out quite nicely I must say. So how do I get mad at my daughter about this? She even used purple marker that was scented like grapes! That's a step above any of my wall art. Nobody can get the aroma of fresh grapes, or any other kind of fruit for that matter, from any of my murals. Kudos to the kid!

 I can manage to not laugh when she does these kind of things and correct the behavior because I want to make sure that she grows up to be a civilized and polite human being. I also don't want her to go around drawing on just anyone's wall for free. She needs to know that there is a market for that.

The challenge I face with this tiny, monster version of me is how to get her potty trained. I'm not too worried since I don't have any friends that still use their pants as a place to relieve themselves but I am a little baffled. My champion smart ass child has the vocabulary and logic of a ten year old but refuses to use the toilet. This kid can follow verbal instructions for how to play an online game, play the game, and win but she won't use the toilet. I don't get it. I have asked her why she won't and her reply was, "Sometimes I poop my pants and sometimes I don't mom." As if I didn't realize.

I'm sure it will all get straightened out, but until then, laugh all you want mom! You deserve it. I've put you through enough crap and you have far more than earned the right to crack up at my expense.