Do you want to buy a duck?

2 FAMILY GARAGE SALE!!!! - $1 (Midland)

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Date: 2011-10-07, 12:18PM EDT
Reply to: sale-vj7zp-2637382798@craigslist.org 

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2 FAMILY GARAGE SALE HAPPENING THIS WEEKEND!

•  Baby clothes and gear: girl's clothing, walker, jumparoo, swings, exersaucers, toys, etc.

• Outdoor play set, Kegerator conversion kit, women's designer purses, dishes, end tables, lamps, kitchen items, and much much more!!!

 SATURDAY 8AM-4PM
SUNDAY 10AM-2PM

4700 and 4704 Hampshire Ct.
Midland, Mi 48640

• Location: Midland

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

	PostingID: 2637382798

On Saturday I got up at the crack of 7am and drank as much coffee as I possibly could while I finished putting hangers in the kids clothes. Our sale started at 8am but at 7:30am I spotted a dark blue vehicle rolling to a stop in front of my neighbor's house. A lady that appeared to be in her mid-forties stepped out of the car revealing to the world her stone washed jeans and matching jacket. About half a second later, her 80's mall bangs made it out of the car too. I think I shouted something to the effect of "you gotta be kidding me!" The original version involved a word or two that really weren't necessary considering the fact that the lady was a potential customer. It was early though and I tend to be a little hostile in the morning when someone messes with my chi. The woman made a bee line to the display of designer hand bags I had covered with a sheet the night before. She tore the sheet back and proceeded to rifle through them as if they were in her way and she was really trying to get at what ever was underneath them. At that point I was standing in my living room with a cup of coffee in one hand and a "Does this diaper make my butt look big?" onesie in the other, staring outside through the picture window trying to figure out how someone could achieve such perfect, gianormous, 80's hair at 7 o'clock in the morning.

I headed out the door to see if the lady needed any help finding the bottom of the purse pile. I realized, after she declined needing any help and left without looking at any other items we were selling, she must have read my Craigslist ad and came specifically to see the bags. She wasn't looking for something hidden beneath them, she was following the scent of expensive European hand-crafted leather. She was like a  police dog on the trail of a dope bag only she was sniffing out Versace, Prada, Gucci, and Coach bags. I didn't have those brand names for sale, but a few days earlier I did have a Coach purse in the same bag with the rest of them. She must have picked up on the lingering aroma.

After the bag lady left, I put the hand bags back in order and organized some items on my sales table, then remembered that I still had clothes to hang and price tags to attach. I ran inside to grab the boxes of clothes and when I returned to my post a few minutes later there were several people arriving to turn our junk into their glorious treasure.

Things went slowly at first. I was really bummed, it  wasn't like the weekend two weeks prior when people were camped out before 7am and our street was so jammed with cars that it took me almost half an hour to pull my car out of the driveway. The first handful of customers hadn't read our ads in the paper and on Craigslist so they were not aware that we had only girls clothes and baby gear. I tried to work my charm and get an older gentleman to buy my husband's obsolete law school texts but he was no fool. His wife, however did buy two hats from me. There was a bright red leather hat I bought during a visit to Las Vegas years ago, it looked like a cross between a fedora and a bucket hat. A feducket or a buckdora. The second hat was one I purchased when I moved to Detroit to attend art school just after finishing high school. It was a panama hat with a mustard, raspberry, and turquoise burned velvet floral pattern. If you are thinking that sounds hideous that is the correct thought. The lady who bought them was a small grey haired woman in her late sixties. She was pleasantly strange, a little out of it, and at the very least, eccentric. I could see myself having a cocktail or two with her, she would be wearing one of the hats.

The day went on and we sold a lot of stuff. Almost all of the baby clothes sold within the first two hours of the day. I got rid of some other baby gear but nobody wanted the other items I had. I thought for sure that someone would want the black hard shell Samsonite suitcase, woman's 26" Huffy bike, and the dehumidifier. Or how about the Christmas tree stand? Come on, it's almost Christmas. The brand new Intex pool filter? Nope. I was bummed but still managed to make about one-hundred and forty dollars so I couldn't complain too much. Plus some weird guy, that had to ask his mom for the money, bought two old brass lamps that I had no room for in my house.                         
I posted this on Craigslist after we closed up shop that evening.

RIDICULOUSLY HUGE YARD SALE!!! - $1 (MIDLAND)

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Date: 2011-10-08, 5:38PM EDT
Reply to: sale-mbabt-2639677557@craigslist.org

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Big, huge, enormous 2 family yard sale!! We have more baby items than you could imagine in one yard. No price is set in stone. Don't miss out, there's only 1 day left. We still have items that you want, such as;

• Little Tikes 8-in-1 Adjustable Playground = $125
• Baby gear = walkers, bouncy seats, exer-saucers, door frame jumpers, high chairs, swings, cribs, etc.
• Baby Ride On Toys = Little Tikes Cozy Coupe, Disney Princess Ride On Toy, Fisher Price Dora Lil Quad Power Wheels Car, etc.
• Baby clothes & shoes = girls, new born to 3T. Clean, cute, in style.
• Children's Toys of all sorts = video games, puzzles, action dolls, etc.
• Women's designer purses = Kathy VanZeeland, Stone Mountain, The Sak, Hype, and more.
• Huffy Women's 26" Blades Bicycle, 6 speed index.
• Great wooden giraffe coat stand for kids room
• Dehumidifier
• End Tables, wood
• Coffee Table, wood small
• Dishes = Correll Wear, Wine Glasses, Ceramic pitcher, serving bowl, and 4 berry bowl set, etc.
• Books = Law books, fiction, etc.

We will be open tomorrow (Sunday, October 9) from 10am to 2pm. The first person to mention this ad will receive the prize displayed below.

See you there!
4700 Hampshire Ct.
Midland, 48640

• Location: MIDLAND
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2639677557

The next day was kind of slow. A family that moved to town because the husband's job was transferred bought pretty much all of the baby stuff that was left. The couple had a son about four years old and the wife was pregnant with a girl. They were originally from Russia but had moved twelve times in twelve years because of the husband's jobs. He told me that every time they had to move they would have a yard sale of their own and sell everything. They would pack two suitcases each and start all over again in a new house and a new city and often a new country. He said he was an engineer but I suspect that he was a spy or maybe in the witness protection program. He probably could have killed all of us at the same time with one single pinch to the neck. It's a good thing they liked what we were selling.

Eventually it came out that most of our Sunday customers had seen the Craigslist ad but were purposely not mentioning the duck. Apparently, the photo I posted made the duck look a lot smaller than it really was. Mission accomplished. In reality, the duck stood about three feet tall and stretched four feet in length. I attempted several times to give the duck away and everyone refused. One couple came in and hadn't seen the duck yet. I asked if they might want to take a look at it and they said that they would, and as a matter of fact, they had a rather extensive duck collection at home. I took them over to where the giant lump of yellow fur was resting. The couple took one look at it, and do you know what they said? "Oh, we already have that duck." The odds of that ever happening again, I'm sure, are slim to none.

The last of the customers left around three, I packed up the things I couldn't sell and dragged them into our second garage, which one of the previous owners slapped onto the side of the house. (That's another story for another time.) Maybe I'll have better luck next spring when I test my luck at yard sale number two. I'll keep you posted.