Practicing My Negotiation Face

I'm sale-ing away,

Out of the garage into the yard you see,

'Cause I've got to be free,

Free of all this crap that I'm sell-elling,

my yard, I'm the captain, all aboard my yard,

You can find lots of junk here that I know for sure,

And I'll try, Oh man I'll try, to sell it all...

Seriously, this is really what I was singing in my head the entire time I was setting up my yard sale tonight in preparation for tomorrow morning. I was supposed to have the sale two weeks ago with the rest of my neighbors in the court but I sort of, not sort of, actually, just didn't feel like doing it. I was feeling fatigued because I haven't slept through an entire night in over a year. This is due to being pregnant and having a child that, after one year, still wakes up at least twice a night. (I just heard the little Jerkalope now in fact...) So I ended up sitting in my living room looking out the window and watching the neighbors run their garage sales that weekend . I was impressed by what I saw.

Before I tell you why I was impressed I need to give you a little background information. As you know, my family moved about five months ago into a new house in a new town. Well, literally neither the house nor the town are new but they were new to me. We moved in spring, the weather was pleasant, and I enjoyed driving around exploring my unfamiliar surroundings. I noticed that the locals often had garage or yard sales, which my husband refers to as a "tag" sale because he's a New Englander. After we had been in the new house a little while I realized that there's always garage sales going on. There are always signs, handmade and store bought, littering the street corners with arrows pointing the way to a "huge sale!" or a destination that "you don't want to miss!"  It doesn't matter what day of the week it is, what time it is, if the yard is on fire, or if its hailing June bugs, there's a sale going on. I guarantee it, I'm even putting it in writing, see. I have never seen as many garage sales in any of the other places I've lived. Where I grew up, and where my parents still live, yard and garage sales are prohibited unless it's a specified "subdivision sale weekend." It so much different than my current subdivision where there's a guy one street over from us whose part-time job is working in his own driveway every weekend. I'm not sure how he keeps coming up with things to sell but like clockwork, he's out there selling them.

I enjoy following the arrows on those signs, it's an adventure. I never know where I'm going to end up (because you can never read the addresses on those tiny signs) and I never know what I may find displayed in the middle of some stranger's driveway. It's much more entertaining than shopping at a regular retail store. There's isn't any suspense when I go to Target or Walmart, I know what I need to get, I get it and I leave. There's nothing special about heading to aisle six and grabbing the Hill Billy wheat bread I buy every time I go grocery shopping. Having no idea what you are shopping for and where you might find it? Now that is a good time.

So, I've explained that there is an overabundance of garage and yard sales where I live. I've also detailed some reasons why I don't mind this overabundance. I've got you all filled in and up to speed now, I can tell you what was impressive to me that day a couple of weekends ago when I ditched my own yard sale.

I couldn't believe the hard core customers that arrived on our court that morning all bright and shiny, F'ing early. The newspaper ad for the sale said it started at eight a.m. Around six-thirty, seven maybe, people of all types, in cars of all makes and models started showing up. They parked up and down the court, in front of my driveway, and on the street adjacent to ours. Some came in packs ready to pounce on the deals, some with their spouses and children looking for knick knacks or Fiesta Wear to replace the dishes the kids broke, some came alone with an agenda, an intent to star in another reality show about people who buy things that are worth a lot more than the person who is selling it to them knows. Chivalry is dead.

These people were camping out at a garage sale! I can't even imagine what they do when their favorite band comes to town. This crowd loves garage sales more than I do. They have navigating the event broken down to a science, and apparently, there is a science to it.

When eight o'clock finally arrived, the shoppers were at their marks, set and ready to go. They got in and out of those yards and garages with such speed and finesse, picking out all the best items, sometimes quickly making trips to their cars to drop off their finds so they could go search for more. It was amazing. There was such determination on the faces of the early customers, I could tell that when they left they were heading for another yard sale.

This went on all day long. I couldn't believe how much traffic was generated all because some people conspired to gather up all the things in their homes they thought were crap, throw them in the grass, and add in some numbers after a dollar sign. I was astounded that commerce could be conjured up just like that.  There's clearly a segment of the population that considers the whole crap in the grass ad campaign to be great marketing.

After witnessing the way everything went down, I started to think that I should have participated in the sale. I wanted in on the action. I didn't know how lucrative the business was until then. My next door neighbor, and my only friend in this town, had to work that weekend and missed out on it too. We decided to have our own yard sale together this weekend. It starts in a few hours so I should probably get to sleep. I will return with an update as soon as the mood strikes me. Until then...go garage sale-ing!                 

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