"Mommy-hood changes things...and
that's great. In fact that is the way it should be if everyone would
take it seriously. But I feel as though there are an aweful lot of
mommies out there that sugar coat being a mom. In my opinion, not all
things about being a mommy are peaches and cream and I feel like it's
taboo to talk about that."
An excerpt from a Coffee Beans and Daydreams post. Click the link to see the full post.
Geez, where do I begin? First of all, not most things about being a mommy are peaches and cream. I have two daughters ages three and one. Of course I love them with every ounce of my being but some days I wish my name wasn't "MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!" Some times I even declare that my name isn't mommy anymore. Who's mommy? It never works. They never go away. That's not correct, let me rephrase it: They never go away unless they are up to something. Silence equals mischief, don't ever forget that. Sometimes I sneak up on the three year old to see what she's getting into. There are days when I will not yell at her for squeezing the contents of an entire tube of toothpaste into her hair. Instead, while she styles her minty fresh do, I tip toe away before she sees me and enjoy the peace and quiet.
My first daughter was such a mellow baby. She went with the flow and rarely caused problems. Sure she got into things, like every baby does, but she listened when I told her "no" and only cried when she actually needed something like food or a diaper change. Well, she grew out of that. Now she's three going on a really obnoxious twenty. The other day she was playing in the front yard and I peeked my head out the door to check on her. I was greeted with a "What do ya want ya pesky old lady!?" I went back inside wondering if she would ever know how cool I am. I used to be anyway. Focus on the "used to be." So now my once chill infant is now a sass-a-frassing (back talking) smart ass.
Having one child that tends to be a typical three year old with the vocabulary of a ten year old wouldn't be that bad, but then Jerkalope baby came home from the hospital. I came up with the name because calling my baby a jerk behind her back is one thing, I couldn't say that to her face. Now this baby is probably the cutest you will ever see. I've had women stop me and tell me that they thought their child was cute but mine was cuter. I have a theory about this; the cuter the baby, the bigger the problem they are going to be. Being cute is just a survival mechanism they are born with. If they were ugly and jerky? Not a good outcome.
I have an extremely high maintenance child. Her pediatrician told me when she was four months old that it was rare but she was having infant temper tantrums. She told me I needed to sit her down, look her in the eyes, and very sternly tell her she doesn't run the show. I left the Dr.'s office convinced the doc was nuts. Who in their right mind would do that to a four month old? It almost sounds like emotional abuse. Every person I told about what the Pediatrician said had the same reaction I did. Everyone thought she was crazy and couldn't imagine sitting a four month old down for a chat. I should have had the chat with the baby. The pediatrician was right. Now when she gets mad because she isn't getting what she wants she just tries to kill herself. I'm not kidding. She holds her breath while crying until she passes out and falls over. The last time she was out for about ten seconds. I was realizing how difficult it is to call 911 with a Blackberry while experiencing sheer panic when the little runt came to. Thank God! That particular episode began because I walked past her and didn't pick her up. Well, she got what she wanted and scared the crap out of her father and I, a two-fer! Now every time she cries we have to stop everything and decipher what kind of cry she's belting out just to make sure she isn't going to fall out and knock herself into a concussion or worse.
The fun never ends and these kids never cease to amaze me with the amount of things they can do to make me insane. At this rate, by the time they are in elementary school I will be an institution rocking myself in a corner mumbling "That's one... that's two... if I get to three you're going in time out...That's one... that's two... if I get to three you're going in time out...That's one...that's two...if I get to three..."
I could go on but I've made my point. Being a mom isn't peaches and cream at all, unless peaches and cream smells like poop and tastes like formula. It's hard and you can't escape no matter how well you plan the get away. But I couldn't imagine my life with out the two munchkins. And look at the bright side, when they are teenagers they won't hang out near you even if you paid them.
Please leave a comment below and let me know what you think. Thank you!
Reminds of the day I got electrocuted, my kids broke a dozen eggs in the playroom, flooded the downstairs toilet and wiped diaper cream all over the carpet..ugh.
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